Happiness

I love this photograph of Cierra so much.....it explains perfectly how I've felt lately. With the tide coming in from the Ocean, Cierra had a blast jumping up and trying to escape the incoming water filling around her feet. She wasn't afraid, just enjoyed this process over and over again. The times when the water did catch her and went up to her knees the cutest squeals and giggles came out! I will never forget the happiness I saw in her this day.

We will make it through!!

It's been quite some time since I've written on here. No excuses other than I guess I just didn't want to write down what has been going on lately here in the DeCamp/Bragg household....because then that means it is actually happening. Makes it all the more real I guess.
Almost a month after my dad's surgery and he is recuperating really well! When we found out that he had colon cancer and needed to head into surgery, all of us kids knew we had to be home. Shannon flew home, David took a few days off, I took a week off, and Janel drove over from Mount Vernon. It was so nice to have it be as normal as possible, we had lots of laughs....lots of smiles:) I love my family so much!!
The surgery went well. The tumor was all removed as well as some lymph nodes. We waited 4 days to find out that the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes, meaning he would need to start chemo here shortly. He will need 6 months of chemotherapy.....they placed his stage at a level 3/C. I don't like nor do I believe in stages. I think it can be very dangerous to be told you only have a certain % to live. It puts restrictions on us and no one but God knows when that time is to come. Understandably my sibblings are really upset and worried. I am trying my best to be the strong older sister and help them deal with their feelings.
I am trying to focus on the positive.....that had it been just a few months later there may not have been any options of treatment. I am thankful that I live nearby, so I can go visit whenever I want to. I am thankful for my friends who have held me up these past few weeks. I am so in love with my daughter who has been a rock and has helped me so much lately. Thankful for Kenny who continues to work his little heart out so that I can spend time with my family.

I broke my foot (actually an avulsion fracture) on Friday.....and in talking to my dad minutes after he spoke to his oncologist and finding out that his cancer was worse than we thought he simply said, "honey, we will make it through this.....you and me together."
He is right....we will make it through.

Dad

Colon Cancer. I'm at a loss for words right now. He is a tough man though and I know will fight this as he has other cancers/illnesses in his life.

the return

Living with endometriosis is like having the biggest secret in the world and not being able to share it with anybody. It gets to be a bit obnoxious always complaining...."my side hurts" I even annoy myself. So I keep it to myself.
When I was first diagnosed with it 16 years ago, they didn't know much about the condition that effected so many women. Almost 30% of women who have endometriosis do not even know they have it, because they have no symptoms. I am in the 70%.
Having chronic pain is what controls my day. I do not let it ruin my days, but it does control it.

I was able to have a break from the pain for the past few years, after having a few surgeries and going through "menopause" but it is back. After many blood tests, MRI's, ultrasounds over the past few weeks and a few different doctors, many days in the Urgent Care.....all of my tests have returned. Endometriosis related. ...which pretty much means they don't know.

I am so thankful that I do not have lung cancer (one doctor was sure I did), thankful I do not have liver disease (again, another doctor thought I did)....thankful that I know which route to go again. So back to the specialist I go. Back to the fertility & endocrine center @ UW. Most likely I have endometri cells on my kidney, or liver....which they will be able to find:)

I will continue not to let my pain ruin my days. I will continue being so thankful for my Cierra Beara. I will continue loving my life:)

Cierra, Sarah McLachlan.....and one happy mama!

I have been a fan of Sarah McLachlan since 1988......when Touch was released. Vox was my favorite song!! Gosh, I was 12. Her music has meant so much to me over the years....especially during rough patches. Her lyrics always spoke to me, so real.....so heartfelt....so emotional.

I knew when I found out she was coming to the Paramount in Seattle, I had to take Cierra. Cierra's first Sarah McLachlan concert:)

I was so giddy when we were going through my concert t-shirt drawer looking at all of my old Sarah McLachlan t-shirts. She found one that fit her and we were set!

When we arrived at the Paramount we were drawn immediately to a table that had some note pads lined up on it. "Write your question to Sarah" was on the papers. Cierra wanted to write one to her and this is what she wrote:

Hi, my name is Cierra and I am 10. What is your favorite song to sing? p.s. will you hug my mom?

Now we had joked all week that we would make posters asking her to hug us.....but of course didn't do that:) I got sidetracked while she was writing her question to Sarah and was looking at the new t-shirts for sale while she wrote in the p.s. So it really was a surprise:)

Mid concert she did a Q&A pulling out some of the questions asked. When she said Cierra's name a noise came out of me that I've never made before. It probably sounded like a mix of a horse and a grunt. Looking back, I wish I had my mouth shut....but I just couldn't help myself.

Sarah asked "where is Cierra?" Once she was spotted, they put the spotlight on her.....then Sarah asked us to come up. We got to hug her, and amongst all the shaking and crying (yes, of course I was crying) all I could manage to say to her was, "Hi" and I'm sure it came like like a "hhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiii" with lots of stuttering going on.

I can't even express to you all what it was like to have someone who has been such an inspiration to me say my daughter's name. When she hugged Cierra and told her how nice it was of her......I almost fainted.

We had amazing seats to begin with, we were in the 9th row....and she has never sounded better. She sang for 3 hours, longer than I've ever heard her perform before!

During intermission the concert photographer came up to me with his card, saying he took some photos of our magical moment.

Thank you Cierra for being such a sweet daughter, I am blessed to have been able to share this experience with you:)

There was even a sweet article written in the Times about our night out!! You can read it here.

p.s. the answer to Cierra's question to her was, "Angel"